Race is not an easy thing to talk about with children. Or with anyone, really.
What is race?
Here is the definition according to Merriam-Webster:
Definition of RACE
1 : a breeding stock of animals
2 a : a family, tribe, people, or nation belonging to the same stock
b : a class or kind of people unified by shared interests, habits, or characteristics
3 a : an actually or potentially interbreeding group within a species;
also : a taxonomic category (as a subspecies) representing such a group
b : breed
c : a category of humankind that shares certain distinctive physical traits
4 obsolete : inherited temperament or disposition
5 : distinctive flavor, taste, or strength
(Personally I think my favorite is #5! I'm picturing it describing all the different ethnic groups of people and it's niiice! - You have to read it and say it with some flair in order to understand what I mean!)
Beverly Daniel Tatum, Ph.D, in her book, "Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?," And Other Conversations About Race, states that "race is a social construction. Despite myths to the contrary, biologists tell us that the only meaningful racial categorization is that of human. Van den Berghe defines race as, "a group that is socially defined but on the basis of physical criteria," including skin color and facial features." (For more information, see the notes and bibliography in Tatum's book. Or ask me, and I'll share the references with you!)
We began talking about race in our family when our now nine year old son was three. He was keenly aware at this young age that his skin color was different than ours, and he was uncomfortable with this. We frequently told him his adoption story and explained how his birth parents had brown skin which is why he has brown skin. Around this time is when I began reading Tatum's book, mentioned above (and pictured below.)
What is race?
Here is the definition according to Merriam-Webster:
Definition of RACE
1 : a breeding stock of animals
2 a : a family, tribe, people, or nation belonging to the same stock
b : a class or kind of people unified by shared interests, habits, or characteristics
3 a : an actually or potentially interbreeding group within a species;
also : a taxonomic category (as a subspecies) representing such a group
b : breed
c : a category of humankind that shares certain distinctive physical traits
4 obsolete : inherited temperament or disposition
5 : distinctive flavor, taste, or strength
(Personally I think my favorite is #5! I'm picturing it describing all the different ethnic groups of people and it's niiice! - You have to read it and say it with some flair in order to understand what I mean!)
Beverly Daniel Tatum, Ph.D, in her book, "Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?," And Other Conversations About Race, states that "race is a social construction. Despite myths to the contrary, biologists tell us that the only meaningful racial categorization is that of human. Van den Berghe defines race as, "a group that is socially defined but on the basis of physical criteria," including skin color and facial features." (For more information, see the notes and bibliography in Tatum's book. Or ask me, and I'll share the references with you!)
We began talking about race in our family when our now nine year old son was three. He was keenly aware at this young age that his skin color was different than ours, and he was uncomfortable with this. We frequently told him his adoption story and explained how his birth parents had brown skin which is why he has brown skin. Around this time is when I began reading Tatum's book, mentioned above (and pictured below.)
In it Tatum relates a story about a conversation she had with one of her sons. Her son came home from preschool one day and said, "Eddie says my skin is brown because I drink too much chocolate milk. Is that true?" Tatum answered, "No, your skin is brown because you have something in your skin called melanin. Melanin is very important because it helps protect your skin from the sun. Eddie has melanin in his skin, too. Remember when Eddie went to Florida on vacation and came back showing everybody his tan? It was the melanin in his skin that made it get darker. Everybody has melanin, you know. But some people have more of it than others. At your school, you are the kid with the most!" I loved that! I explained to our son about melanin, and it seemed to help him understand more about skin color.
Once you start talking about skin color, a conversation about race is sure to follow soon, as it did in our case. A White person's skin is not actually white, it's a shade of peach or beige. A Black person's skin is not actually black, it's a shade of brown. Tatum does what I think is a superb job talking to her preschool aged son about this, which then unexpectedly led her to an (excellent, in my opinion) age-appropriate explanation of slavery. In it she not only gives her son a brief history of slavery in our country, but also touches on Black and White resistance, so as not to portray all Blacks as victims nor all Whites as victimizers. (So important! This was the first time I had ever thought about that.) This idea can then be applied when talking to your children and/or students about any race relations.
I could go on and on about the greatness and importance of this book! Tatum talks about racial identity formation in the early childhood years, through adolescence, and into adulthood. She addresses "Understanding Blackness in a White Context" as well as "Understanding Whiteness in a White Context." She also discusses "Critical Issues in Latino, American Indian, and Asian Pacific American Identity Development" and "Identity Development in Multiracial Families," including in adoptive families. This is a book that would benefit all parents and teachers to read - I highly recommend it!
I could go on and on about the greatness and importance of this book! Tatum talks about racial identity formation in the early childhood years, through adolescence, and into adulthood. She addresses "Understanding Blackness in a White Context" as well as "Understanding Whiteness in a White Context." She also discusses "Critical Issues in Latino, American Indian, and Asian Pacific American Identity Development" and "Identity Development in Multiracial Families," including in adoptive families. This is a book that would benefit all parents and teachers to read - I highly recommend it!
Now, going back to the skin color conversations, there is a beautiful book entitled "Tan to Tamarind: poems about the color brown." In it Malathi Michelle Iyengar and Jamel Akib not only portray the beauty of the various tones of the color brown, but also the beauty of being a child, a person, of that color. I just love the last poem and want to share an excerpt with you to give you a taste of what lies within the book:
Brown.
My face.
Milk-tea brown....
Brown.
Your face.
Sienna brown
or coca brown,
café con leche brown or
radiant ocher brown.
Our hands, our fingers.
Cinnamon brown
or rich coffee brown,
sandalwood brown or
rosy adobe brown....
We are brown. We are beautiful.
My face.
Milk-tea brown....
Brown.
Your face.
Sienna brown
or coca brown,
café con leche brown or
radiant ocher brown.
Our hands, our fingers.
Cinnamon brown
or rich coffee brown,
sandalwood brown or
rosy adobe brown....
We are brown. We are beautiful.
Another book I recommend along these lines is "Brown Honey in Broomwheat Tea" by Joyce Carol Thomas.
With either of these books, you could have your elementary aged children write a poem about themselves modeled after or inspired by one of the poems. That's what I had our son and I do when we read them this past fall. I was surprised (and so happy) with how much effort our son put into his, and how beautifully it turned out. (I wanted our daughter to draw a picture of herself in response to listening to the poems, but she was being her strong willed self at the moment and I decided not to push it. She played with Legos on the floor instead.)
"Skin Again" by Bell Hooks is another great book to open up or further a discussion on skin color and race! It rhythmically illustrates how the skin we are in only tells a small piece about who we are. It's what is underneath our skin that truly matters, who we are in our hearts and in our minds, celebrating the stories of who we each are. "The skin I'm in is just a covering. It cannot tell my story. The skin I'm in is just a covering. If you want to know who I am, you have got to come inside and open your heart way wide."
And now if you are still hanging with me, I've saved the best for last! This is a phenomenal must-read book! It received a star review from School Library Journal, and instead of creating my own summary, I'm just going to use theirs as I couldn't have said it better!:
"This stunning picture book introduces race as just one of many chapters in a person's story. Beginning with the line, "I am a story," Lester tells his own story with details that kids will enjoy, like his favorite food, hobbies, and time of day. Then he states, "Oh. There's something else that is part of my story…I'm black." Throughout the narrative, he asks questions that young readers can answer, creating a dialogue about who they are and encouraging them to tell their own tales. He also discusses "stories" that are not always true, pointing out that we create prejudice by perceiving ourselves as better than others. He asks children to press their fingers against their faces, pointing out, "Beneath everyone's skin are the same hard bones." Remove our skin and we would all look the same. Lester's engaging tone is just right and his words are particularly effective, maintaining readers' interest and keeping them from becoming defensive. The pairing of text and dazzling artwork is flawless. The paintings blend with the words and extend them, transporting readers away from a mundane viewpoint and allowing them to appreciate a common spiritual identity. This wonderful book should be a first choice for all collections and is strongly recommended as a springboard for discussions about differences." - Mary Hazelton, Warren Community School and Miller Elementary School, ME
"This stunning picture book introduces race as just one of many chapters in a person's story. Beginning with the line, "I am a story," Lester tells his own story with details that kids will enjoy, like his favorite food, hobbies, and time of day. Then he states, "Oh. There's something else that is part of my story…I'm black." Throughout the narrative, he asks questions that young readers can answer, creating a dialogue about who they are and encouraging them to tell their own tales. He also discusses "stories" that are not always true, pointing out that we create prejudice by perceiving ourselves as better than others. He asks children to press their fingers against their faces, pointing out, "Beneath everyone's skin are the same hard bones." Remove our skin and we would all look the same. Lester's engaging tone is just right and his words are particularly effective, maintaining readers' interest and keeping them from becoming defensive. The pairing of text and dazzling artwork is flawless. The paintings blend with the words and extend them, transporting readers away from a mundane viewpoint and allowing them to appreciate a common spiritual identity. This wonderful book should be a first choice for all collections and is strongly recommended as a springboard for discussions about differences." - Mary Hazelton, Warren Community School and Miller Elementary School, ME
Race is not an easy subject to talk about, but one that is important to talk about none the less. I believe we should talk about it early on with our children, so that it feels natural to them, unlike how it feels to most of us. I can attest that it's getting easier the more we do it, and I'm so grateful that there are wonderful picture books out there to guide our family discussions, as well as great books out there like Beverley Tatum's to inform us and give more context and shape to the discussions we'll have with our kids. Please share in the comment section what books you've used in your family and/or classroom, and let's get started (or continue) talking about race!
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